Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Where You Came From

Patriotboy's recent fascination with visits to his blog by someone from the United States Department of Defense's Counterintelligence Field Activity (CIFA, which has no actual Web site) sent me skittering off to see who's been visiting Minions lately. Surely, there are some non-surprises there--it's easy enough for me to decipher who's visiting from ISPs in Lee's Summit, Missouri, Monaca, Pennsylvania, and Franklin, Tennessee. I gots lurkers, too--clearly, not every hit here from the UK is my buddy Doctor Death, who as far as I know doesn't hang out in Swindon. And if the hit from Vancouver, Washington is the guy I know there? It's really, really scary that you found this, dood.

More troubling would be the referrals distribution. Someone from Akron found me with a search on the word "fallschirmjager." That's not so awful. But the person at FedEx in Memphis who found me with a search for "chinese women large clitori" is really scaring the willies outta me, and I sure hope for his or her sake that FedEx isn't monitoring its employees' Web use. Ditto the person in Slovenia who ended up here by searching "boy sex in boxers," and the presumptive MicroSoft employee who landed at Minions by searching "fucking your stepmother stories."

The scariest one would be he or she who typed into his or her AOL search "i turn men into sniveling cocksucking faggot sissies" and ended up here.

Oh, wait. Vancouver, Washington got here by searching "Barbie rescuing tide up colts." For one thing, it's probably not my friend Junior. And for another, I think we have a winner.

5 comments:

Swami said...

I just searched for "Dark Lord of Crankypants." I feel so uncreative. And unperverted.

Swami said...

Also, this guy: "chinese women large clitori" was clearly looking for Dweeze.

Immunegirl said...

Wow. I need to start writing more exciting stuff. My visitors were searching for such boring stuff compared to your visitors.

Jolene said...

This is why I make my blog unsearchable. I want no part of all the weirdos.

Wheeze said...

scary.