Friday, August 12, 2005

Prison. Yum.

Courtesy of a friend I will not name lest I inadvertently link her to a crime I sincerely hope not to commit, and a tiny bit of further public-domain research, I have discovered that I share not only a county, but a general area of the county with deluded ubercunt Michelle Malkin.

If Michelle--and having done some research, I find that since she's a little unclear about what her name really is, I have no option but to address her informally, and that's okay because she's welcome to address me as Commie, Traitor, Faggot, One-Worlder, Clintonizer, America-Hater, Wog-Lover, Terrorist, Boo-Boo Kittyfuck, or really, just about anything that suits her--or any of her cronies happen to be reading this, I'd like to point out, in a very legal sense, that I have absolutely no intention of committing any crimes against her person or property or the person or property of anyone close to her.

However, I'm sure not happy about the prospect of some of the words I will inflict on those within earshot if I do actually run into her at the grocery store, as I joked about a post or three ago. It's hard for me to remain quiet in the presence of that much deliberately crafted evil.

So bring the kids, Michelle. It's not like they're going to expand their polemic vocabulary over at Saint Heinrich's.

Thanks, unnamed one. I'm so moving out of Hessianville.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Little Veronica Malkin was born in the year 2000, so she is of a prime age to expand her vocabulary. But I have another suggestion, one that should not land you in The Slammer unless you persist in the face of a court order.

Have you considered the possibility of a photo safari? It has a certain appeal, and places like this make it very easy to post photos. Or Flickr, which allows large numbers of photos. You could keep one of those pocket sized digital babies on your person or in your conveyance to be ever at the ready.

I sense a contest, the most apt photo. That is apt as in Apt Pupil.

Blackdogred said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ilse said...

You mean...you'd pass up a chance to share a PTA experience with Michelle?

Landru said...

The deleted comment was by BDR, not some anonymous freak. I get email notification of comments. I concur in his decision to delete the comment, which wasn't horrible, but could have caused me legal problems if someone actually begins to stalk the UberCunt.

Dweeze said...

I don't know about anyone else, but I think Stalking the UberCunt was one of H.P. Lovecraft's worst books.

Anonymous said...

Begins?

yvonne said...

You need help, Landru? I'm just an hour away. I'm pretty good at chucking trash, and I'm been known to sling some pretty good slurs.

When provoked, of course.