You Are My Minions: Butterstick

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Butterstick

Wonkette reminds us:

Tired? Angry? Scared? Confused? We recommend a full helping of Butterstick. And not that way. Pandas will not overturn Roe. Pandas will not give you bird flu. Pandas will not close the Senate. Not unless it's really important. What do they do? They take first steps. The chew bamboo contentedly. They restore our faith in the world.

Butterstick is the National Zoo's baby panda, born around four months ago. He is, of course, adorably full of creamy goodness, hence the Thinking Person's name for him (Chicom-pandering do-gooders at the Zoo have given him some poncy name like "Tai-Shan"). He makes his public debut next week, thus far having only been exposed to us through the good offices of the media.

Wanna bang Wonkette (I mean, assuming you haven't already; bitch is holding out on me for some reason)? Pretend to like Butterstick.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...: Butterstick is so sad, being used by a Bad Bad man who wants a blowjob. Was that your ad, Landru?; 12:34 PM

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

About Minions

You need to know that this is a self-indulgent vanity blog. I don't care how you got here (and you do get here by some very strange pathways); do not come here looking for deep unassailable meaning. If you knew me, you'd know better.

In case I need to spell this out for you, much of the content in this blog is either inside baseball (private public jokes between me and friends) or satirical. Much of my expression, even when talking about real-world stuff, is satirical. I have strong opinions. Here are a few:

Government exists to promote well-being.

Yes, that's a broad sweep.

Compromise is functionally necessary.

Hate is unacceptable in real life (sports excepted; if you don't like that distinction, you're not entirely wrong, and fair play to you). I elaborate on this because it's an easy word to use, and you may see me use it. I audit on this word, and I'm confident about the contexts in which I've used it here.

There is no need to compromise with hate.

Satire draws on the need to highlight that which is wrong.

The satirist should re-examine satire that sounds like hate.

That includes me.

You need to know that I sometimes use language that others find profane. While I believe that words are words and there's nothing to fear, I respect both opposing viewpoints and your right to not read this blog.

Sometimes I do write about serious things. When I do, I'm right, and you either agree with me or you're wrong. Sucks to be you, huh? Of course, if you knew me, you'd already understand this, and it would suck considerably less to be you.

You may find me incomprehensible. As a service to you, I have created the Minions glossary (updated in November 2017), to help you decipher. It's all about you, bitchez.

Wanna be my friend?
You know where to find me.
This blog's email address is minionsblog (at) gmail (dot) com. I check that email very infrequently. DM on Twitter (@landruajm) will get me faster. Lots faster. The old address was hacked and no longer belongs to Landru, because Google isn't very smart (and neither is Landru).
All material copyright (c) 2005-2017 by You Are My Minions and its owner, whose name can be deduced if one thoughtfully contemplates every single word ever posted here. Which would really be a bloody waste of time.