Friday, May 05, 2006

It's A Beautiful Day In Mister Right-Wing Fucktard's Neighborhood

Mister Right-Wing Fucktard: I'm so happy! Another drunken Communist Kennedy crashed his car! And he was on drugs!!! Now we can rape him like you unhinged moonbats raped Rush Limbaugh, who wasn't arrested and didn't commit a crime!

Me: Gods, you're pathetic.

Mister Right-Wing Fucktard: No, don't you get it? Kennedy! Drunk! Car! Drug addict! Resign! Leftist Liberal Reconquista Lesbian Queer Terror-Lover! Chappaquiddick!

Me: Okay, here are some facts...

Mister Right-Wing Fucktard: No! Kennedy! Drunk! Car! Drugs! Chappaquiddick! Favoritism!

Me: You do understand that we're talking about the Capitol Hill Police, and that Patrick Kennedy is about the 346th consecutive Congresscritter that the Capitol Hill Police have caught driving drunk at 3 in the morning and released back into the gene pool? And that the very existence of the Capitol Hill Police is predicated on favoritism and the need to get drunk Congresscritters safely and quietly off of the street before they kill someone? And that Representative Kennedy's "I'm on my way to a vote" line is what every single Congresscritter ever arrested for anything has said immediately upon his or her arrest, ever? And that if Rush Limbaugh were black or Hispanic he'd be doing life in prison? And that between Laura Bush and Ted Kennedy, the first one to kill someone in a car crash was, oddly enough, Laura Bush? Do you get any of this? Or are you too busy mopping up torrents of your own spooge* to actually focus on anything that resembles a fact, or even an objective relativity?

Mister Right-Wing Fucktard: Kennedy! Drunk! Car! Drugs! Favoritism! Chappaquiddick! You! Mean to Rush! Hilary's a dyke! You love terrorists! Wetbacks! Millions of 'em! You hate troops! Moussaoui! Kennedy! Drunk! Chappaquiddick!

Me: Sigh. Lookie there, it's Porter Goss and his string of poontang in the unemployment line. And on a Friday afternoon, no less. Will you just shut the fuck up now, you fascist asshole?

Mister Right-Wing Fucktard: Hey! You said a bad word!

*Thanks for the inspiration, Rude.

Also: gratitude to Tom Tomorrow for giving me something to pretty much rip off, albeit in my own idiom.


Swami said...

You're so hot when you're cranky, Landru. And you captured the rhetoric quite perfectly.

Swami said...

Hey, you've got a cool little handicap thing by your word verification? You're just taunting me and my bifocals, aren't you!?!