Important Things

1. Japanese schoolgirls, sex therewith, and bombs on the trains on which one encounters Japanese schoolgirls and has sex therewith. That, my friends, is socially redeeming poetry.

After you've done this, Google "japanese schoolgirl bomb fuck poem" and give bDr another hit from Google Porn. Heh.

2. I'm so sure that our friend D will appreciate being cited in the same post as the above that I must encourage you now to go vote for DCenters for Best Fucking Soccer Blog Ever, No, Really, Shut Up, I'm Totally Cereal. In fact, I'm not encouraging you, I'm ordering you. Go do it. Now. And then do it again every day until December 7. You Are My Minions, And This I Command.

While you're there, I would encourage you (really encourage--the only important thing here is voting for DCenters, but while you're there...) to vote for anyone but Landon Donovan or Freddie Adu in any player or game category. For the record, my votes:

Best Goal (Men): Benny Feilhaber v. Mexico. Easy call. Anyone knowledgeable who votes for anything else is just fucktarded, although I'll admit that Frankie Hejduk's career-capping goal against Ew Canada and the bitch Patrick Onstad was pretty freakin' cool, for something Frankie Hejduk did.

Best Goal (Women): Carli Lloyd v. New Zealand. Another easy call, although you can't go wrong voting for anything involving Abby Wambach, either.

Best Performance (Player): I'm partial to Abby Wambach v. Sweden on this one (unlike bDr, who's partial to Abby Wambach, period, but then again he's got a thing for tall girls), but you would not be ill-advised to vote for Tim Howard v. Mexico, Josy Altidore v. Brazil, or Christie Rampone (who I don't like) v. England, either.

Best Performance (Team): Men v. Mexico (June 24 in Chicago), or Women v. England, depending on your preference. Beating Mexico is always good, but the Womens looked really pretty damn good against an England team that seriously should've given them a lot more trouble than it did.

But really, there's only one thing here that's important. Right? DCenters. Do it. Now. Don't ask questions. Right?