Friday, August 29, 2008

Dear Ba'al

Thanks for the inexperienced bag of witless, mindless conservatism, an avid woman-killer, gun nut, Creationist, and former beauty queen; the replacement for Cindy; the endless Meaning of Life jokes; and the three electoral votes that she'll theoretically lock down for Saint BBQ.

Y'know, I still think Joe Biden is an asshat choice for Obama, although I'll now at least concede the Biden as Attack Dog meme. But for once, a Republican is more eager to shoot himself in the testes than a Democrat. Woo and hoo.

Let's review:

Wasilla, Alaska City Council, 4 years; Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, 6 years; Governor of Alaska, 2 years.

Yeah. Obama's inexperienced.

Hates pregnant women.
Hates freedom.
Hates science.
Hates people who don't like guns.
(True corollary: hates animals and likes to shoot them.)

Yeah, she's going right after those Hillary votes.

Brunette.
Not pregnant since April, and apparently not all dried up.
Does not immediately evince utter nonpolitical batshit craziness at first televised glance.

Ooh. Gavin's right, Cindy. Double down on the Klonopin. Daddy's gonna show Miss Alaska (runner-up) what a bamboo rod is all about.

Sasha's right. Today, I'll gloat. Tomorrow? I'll get back to predicting a massive Saint BBQ victory, although there's also a little Trilateral Commission conspiracy theory I'd like to toss around with you.

3 comments:

Sasha said...

"But for once, a Republican is more eager to shoot himself in the testes than a Democrat. "

What testes? Didn't he leave those in North Vietnam or something?

The only thing you forgot? Her main claim to fame is that she had amnio and didn't abort the Downs baby. That certainly qualifies a person for the vice presidency.

Landru said...

Uhm, no, as you pointed out to me, what he left in North Vietnam was classified military information, unlike hundreds of his fellow POWs, who were just as tortured, and who did not, like him, choose it out of some misplaced sense of daddycock worship.

Now, his poor testes' mortal souls? That may be a different matter entirely.

bdr said...

It will be truly awesome how the Democrats fuck up even this.