Saturday, August 30, 2008

Let Me Explain

If you are voting for John McCain because Sarah Palin is a woman, then you are an idiot and you have failed in your responsibility to society to use your vote wisely. If you are a woman and you are voting for John McCain because Sarah Palin is a woman, all of the above is true, and the fate you best deserve involves Robert Duvall and pregnancy at gunpoint.

It's unfortunate if you think I am a misogynist for any of the above, or for stating that Sarah Palin is a Creationist, gun-toting, polar-bear-hating, Gilead-loving, oil-guzzling opportunist whose main claims to fame are that she finished second in a beauty contest and that she was mayor of a hick town for two years before kicking Frank Murkowski in the ribs while he was down (not that he didn’t have it coming), so that she could take over at the head of the line at the fucking trough that is Alaska politics--at which trough she has herself lapped heartily.

It's unfortunate because, if you are representative of the sampling of what I've read on this topic (including stuff written by PUMAs who have the unmitigated gall to carry the "Advertise Liberally" logo on their blogs) you are just fucking diseased, and I hope you don't get the fate you actually deserve--because I'm not nearly as much of a misogynist as you are.

I am in a contemplative snit, and I don't like where my thoughts are going, because they are seriously Hamiltonian in tone and nature. And while I'm an Alex guy in general, and I think it's fun to toy around with the notion that some people are too stupid to vote, it scares me when I actually get close to getting there, because I'm an American too, and unlike people who would casually propel us further into fascism because Sarah Palin has a twat, I understand what the fuck that means.

Or maybe I should just stop reading the fucking Intertubes.

8 comments:

Sasha said...

You must continue to read the Intertubes. You just need a way to channel your rage. Need any suggestions?

Landru said...

I do, as it happens, have some suggestions, my darling friend. I don't think any of them are pertinent, though.

E7 said...

That is the most perfect and concise piece of political commentary that I have ever read.

I'm gonna send it to my mom...

whispers said...

Because Sarah Palin is female, it's OK to vote for a person who would continue the war in Iraq indefinitely, if not launch an invasion of Iran, and who would appoint a fifth anti-Roe justice to SCOTUS sometime in 2009. Before he appointed a sixth ultra-conservative in 2010 and a seventh in 2011.

And while the McCain presidency is instituting loyalty oaths for all Executive branch hires, we can reassure ourselves that at least we didn't let dirty fucking hippie misogynists take power.

Because, of course, anybody who would think a person with only two years experience at a level higher than 'mayor of a city with less than 10,000 citizens' could in some way be less than qualified for the position of "old man McCain's health insurance plan" in the White House must be criticizing solely on misogynistic grounds.

Kimmah said...

Hey now! She has a baby with Down's syndrome, so you're not allowed to pick her on her, you woman-hating, baby-threatening anti-family, women-should-be-barefoot-in-the-kitchen pig. Don't you know she's off limits because pointing out her flaws makes us scared of the Repugnaticans? Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Personally, I can't get past the fact that she named her children Trig and Track...call me shallow, but that alone makes me think she's just dumber than a fucking sack of defective hammers.

Landru said...

Whispers? You hate wymyns. Pig.

Kimmah? You rock, rocktastically.

Landru said...

BTW, Kimmah, we oughta chat sometime. I'll find you (and I hope I'll see you ethereally on Monday).

whispers said...

If she had named her children Walker and Texas Ranger, I would have respected her more.