You Are My Minions: A Thing That Must Be Said

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A Thing That Must Be Said

This keeps coming up lately, again and again. It must need to be purged.

There was a lovely young woman, beautiful in all respects physical and spiritual save a bit of a piggy nose. This destroyed her self-esteem quite thoroughly, of course.

But one young man found her quite attractive. He was a shy fellow, having a wooden eye for reasons not specified when I heard this touching story nigh unto 35 years ago. He thought the young woman was the finest life match he could ever make, and he approached her one day, asking, "Would you like to go to the dance on Saturday night?"

She was excited--no one could ever get past her nose and see her for the flower she was--and replied, "Would I?"

"Pignose, pignose, pignose!"

That is all.

4 comments:

Sasha said...: Self indulgence indeed; 9:47 AM
Landru said...: Wheezy Nation thinks it's the funniest fucking joke EVAR.; 6:34 PM
Sasha said...: She's stuck in the snow in CANADA eating poutine. Think that might have something to do with it?; 7:40 PM
Landru said...: Poutine's good food. I've always loved it, myself.; 7:43 PM

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About Minions

You need to know that this is a self-indulgent vanity blog. I don't care how you got here (and you do get here by some very strange pathways); do not come here looking for deep unassailable meaning. If you knew me, you'd know better.

In case I need to spell this out for you, much of the content in this blog is either inside baseball (private public jokes between me and friends) or satirical. Much of my expression, even when talking about real-world stuff, is satirical. I have strong opinions. Here are a few:

Government exists to promote well-being.

Yes, that's a broad sweep.

Compromise is functionally necessary.

Hate is unacceptable in real life (sports excepted; if you don't like that distinction, you're not entirely wrong, and fair play to you). I elaborate on this because it's an easy word to use, and you may see me use it. I audit on this word, and I'm confident about the contexts in which I've used it here.

There is no need to compromise with hate.

Satire draws on the need to highlight that which is wrong.

The satirist should re-examine satire that sounds like hate.

That includes me.

You need to know that I sometimes use language that others find profane. While I believe that words are words and there's nothing to fear, I respect both opposing viewpoints and your right to not read this blog.

Sometimes I do write about serious things. When I do, I'm right, and you either agree with me or you're wrong. Sucks to be you, huh? Of course, if you knew me, you'd already understand this, and it would suck considerably less to be you.

You may find me incomprehensible. As a service to you, I have created the Minions glossary (updated in November 2017), to help you decipher. It's all about you, bitchez.

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This blog's email address is minionsblog (at) gmail (dot) com. I check that email very infrequently. DM on Twitter (@landruajm) will get me faster. Lots faster. The old address was hacked and no longer belongs to Landru, because Google isn't very smart (and neither is Landru).
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