Wednesday, September 21, 2011

DCU 2-2 Chivas

I grow weary. I'm tired of writing the same fucking futbol story over and over. Up 2-0 in the 47th minute, United choked two goals--not just to Chivas, but to fucking Juan Pablo Angel (tag line: If you see Juan Pablo, knock him down) to get only a point out of a game that should have yielded three.

I have little to say. The team continues to believe that a lead--any lead--relieves it of the responsibility to possess, to attack. As if by magic, when the Goats equalized, the team started to try to attack again. You cannot attempt to close up shop starting before the 75th minute, especially when you're really fucking inept at closing up shop. This has been a refrain in this blog's futbol writings for nigh unto four fucking years. Through coach after coach, United has tried to sit on leads--or even non-leads--with a smashing lack of success. Just smarten the fuck up, people.

MLS refereeing remains consistently horrible. Michael Umana should've been red-carded for a vicious foul on Tino Quaranta (even Umana was shocked that he only got a yellow card); referee Chris Penso made no call on a play on which Ante Jazic destroyed a defenseless Dwayne DeRosario over the back, leaving both players writhing on the grass; and moments later, in stoppage, Penso attempted to atone for his error by awarding an otherwise ridiculous penalty for Angel's gentle hip check (seriously, it was more like an affectionate dance move) on DeRosario in the box.

Look, the shite officiating didn't really affect the game; DeRosario missed the penalty, laughably, with a weak effort. But the inconsistency, the failure to maintain control, the failure to punish violent play...those are the things that are consistent. Christ, even fourth official Alex Prus, who is a loosely woven sack of dysenteric monkey shit, would've shown Umana the door and made a call on the insanely dangerous Jazic foul.

But that's a sideshow. The real story here is United's failure to capitalize on some awesome set-piece play--which yielded very fine goals by DeRosario and, of all people, Ethan White. I should be raving about that and the two run-of-play goals that United created (not) as it was trying to secure its lead (not). Instead, I'm left to wonder why a fucking saint can't blorp his head out of his ass long enough to figure out that this team can't play defensively. Fuck it. See Fullback for the epitaph (the trademark is his). Wait a minute, he's already up? And that sweet, sweet signature isn't there? Jeebus, Hund, you can't fucking close up shop this early.


Randal Graves said...

So Charlie wasn't the diver down? Where have all the good times gone!

MLS has refs? I thought those guys with the whistles were running around to smash chunks of turf back down.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

The team continues to believe that a lead--any lead--relieves it of the responsibility to possess, to attack.

That's an old Redskins standby, often accompanied by the "prevent defense".

Fullback said...

I've beaten the BTTM refrain to death, haven't I?

Funny you mention removing noggins from posteriors because that's exactly what Good Saint Benny told the TV men his team should be doing when they did the inane sideline interview in the second half.

Fullback said...

Also, as regards the whistlemen: sideline mics (and quick camera cut-away) also picked up Benny turning to yell at Prus, "C'mon Alex, you gotta help him out!" or something to that effect after yet another non-call for thuggery.

Landru said...

Randal (I wish "Graves, you swine" wasn't taken): BDR overstates the ferocity of the dive. The foul, such as it was, was sort of like an unwanted lambada grind, and I didn't think DeRosario put anything into the flop. It was clearly understood, all around, that it was a giveback call for letting Jazic attempt to murder DeRosario moments earlier. Also: see Fullback's comments.

Thunder: I am reporting you to the Secret Liberal Elite for saying "redskin."

Esteemed Backliner: No. It's a meme. It's yours. Harness it, mount it, ride that wild meme over and over get the picture.

I often wonder what we miss on TV by being at the game. But it's not a fatal sort of wonder. I guess the right statement is that I wonder what we miss on TV because I'm too lazy to drag my ass down to Comcast to swap my cable box for a DVR box. That's a little more constructive.

And as I think you know, I just love it when Alex is in the stadium, because then I get to mount my Alex Prus meme and ride it, etc. Even the non-futbol types who visit from time to time like the Alex Prus meme.

Fullback said...

Until they install the bullet train from my neck of the literal woods to the crumbling gates of RFK, eliminating the 3 hours down and 3 hours back by car, I'm stuck with television/internet for most games. If the stadium were a realistic option, I doubt I'd bother with TV either (I usually watch with the audio off anyway so I don't feel tempted to yell at the blathering heads).

Landru said...

Not that I need to provide our many stalkers with any details, I think I thought you were closer in. In fact, I had a pretty narrow concept of your geography, and on reflection I have no idea whatsoever how I came by that.