DCU 1-1 Phunions

I tweeted in response to Goff's question ("On a scale of 1 to 10, Geiger deserves a...") that Geiger deserved a bullet and an invoice, the reputed sentence for condemned Chinese under the current regime.

Geiger being Mark Geiger, MLS (and, it appears, at least according to Kevin Payne and various YFWP commenters, FIFA and Olympic) referee. Let's not mince words. He was fucking inept. He lost control of the game early and often, and he did not fairly assess punishments--that is, he consistently called DCU for milder fouls than he did the Phunions, and in the end, he wrongly deprived DCU of at least one goal.

But let's back the fuck up, because while Mark Geiger should never referee another game for money, DCU cost itself plenty tonight, before Geiger even had a chance to fuck it up.

Yes, let's back it up to the first fucking half, when DCU gave up an 8th-minute goal to Brian Carroll off of a free kick by some Phunion shithead (turns out, on review, that it was Freddy Adu, and the play was inexcusably chaotic), and spent the rest of the half alternating between not attacking and having to rely on Bill Hamid to make remarkable plays because it wasn't defending.

Oh. Do I need to remind that I hate the motherfucking Phunions? Here, I'll say something nice about them, for balance: they got rid of Sebastien Fucking LeToux.

Anyway, United pissed this away before 45 minutes were gone. I believe that 10 minutes of possession consisted of a triangle of Perry Kitchen passing the ball back to Emiliano Dudar and the appallingly incompetent Brandon McDonald, playing catch until high pressure forced some measure of creativity. Sadlly, this creativity usually resulted in a long ball upfield to a Phunion. I was grateful each time it didn't result in a backpass past Hamid and into the goal. Two Phunion breakaways were thwarted by Hamid, and United were lucky not to be down 0-3 at the half.

Which brings us to the second half. In the 64th minute, some lovely play between Boskovic and the geriatric and exhausted Dwayne Derosario led to a chance. Phunion goalie The Traitor Zac MacMath* couldn't get the handle on the ball; Gabriel Farfan cleared it away to Nick DeLeon, who buried it. Unfortunately, in a bit of byplay not related to the goal, Hamdi Salihi tripped over the prone traitor MacMath (who was out of the play whether Salihi went flying over him or not). Mark Geiger's Philly eye for the game spotted that as a foul. On Salihi. No goal. This was stone robbery.

United equalized minutes later. Then, near the end of regulation Pontius won a penalty kick on what I initially thought was a dive, but what was actually a legit call. DeRosario banged home the spot kick, but McDonald encroached (into the arc--a technically correct, but bush league call by a ref determined to call stuff). DeRosario skied the retake (in stoppage time).

But there was a scuffle in between the kick and the retake. One of the fucking Farfans jumped on Boskovic's back as he tried to retrieve the ball; Boskovic took a swing at him. The fucking Farfan, who instigated the fight, got a yellow card; Boskovic, who missed, got a red. Jeebus.

On the next possession, Dudar fouled some Phunion, getting mostly ball and making little contact, though the tackle was from behind; Geiger wasted no time red-carding him, after having allowed violent criminal Phunion Michael LaHoud no fewer than four yellow-card fouls through the course of the game, two of them arguably red cardable (including his first, and second-most-deliberate foul, a raised foot to Chris Pontius' chest while Pontius was in possession of the ball, and a lengthy, 4-second jersey tug against...I forget, but there were like two feet of jersey stretched out behind the fouled United player). In the closing minutes of stoppage, Geiger completed his rampage by red-carding Phunion Sheanon Williams for a book-definition yellow-card foul against Pontius (professional foul, neither last man nor DOGSO). Sure, it felt good. But this, too, was Geiger's fault.

The game, though? Blame DeRosario. Blame Kitchen. Blame McDonald. Blame Olsen, who didn't replace a totally gassed Nick DeLeon after the Salihi goal, and whose last sub, in fucking stoppage time after the red cards, was the situationally useless Marcelo Saragosa, and who coached these stupid fuckers into being afraid to fucking attack.

What a stupid, fucked-up loss of two points against a key divisional opponent. The team should be fucking ashamed of themselves, and Olsen should start the fucking reserves against Chicago on Wednesday.

Oh, right. We don't have any fucking reserves.


*Discommendated Terp.