You Are My Minions: Not A Blog Holiday, To My Shame

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Not A Blog Holiday, To My Shame

Some of you will not know that this is my third marriage, and it is in fact charmed.

I am a lucky man in that I robbed the cradle. Ilse was not yet legal when this song--which is, as it happens, our song--was released. I hasten to add that she was legal, in every known jurisdiction, by the time I nailed her. She remains, so far as I know, legal.

So anyway, happy birthday and shit, honey.

4 comments:

BDR said...: Happy Birthdayness and love. Glad I kept the nine iron in the bag.; 8:41 AM
Jolene said...: Happy Birthday, Ilse!; 11:48 AM
zombie rotten mcdonald said...: What an awesome birthday song! Good choice.

But if you don't have Mojo Nixon then your shop could use some fixin....

True story. When I was fucking around with the Mac Classic I bought Wife Sublime to pursue her MBA, I used SmoothTalker to recite the lyrics to this song in that robotic, halting voice. It was hilarious, which rapidly turned STUPENDOUSLY annoying.

So, I guess what I'm saying is get drunk and sing this song in funny voices all day. I dunno. I suck at advice.; 4:34 PM
Anonymous said...: joy shared is magnified

sorrow shared is made easier to bear

may the creative forces of the universe be with us all; 6:01 AM

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About Minions

You need to know that this is a self-indulgent vanity blog. I don't care how you got here (and you do get here by some very strange pathways); do not come here looking for deep unassailable meaning. If you knew me, you'd know better.

In case I need to spell this out for you, much of the content in this blog is either inside baseball (private public jokes between me and friends) or satirical. Much of my expression, even when talking about real-world stuff, is satirical. I have strong opinions. Here are a few:

Government exists to promote well-being.

Yes, that's a broad sweep.

Compromise is functionally necessary.

Hate is unacceptable in real life (sports excepted; if you don't like that distinction, you're not entirely wrong, and fair play to you). I elaborate on this because it's an easy word to use, and you may see me use it. I audit on this word, and I'm confident about the contexts in which I've used it here.

There is no need to compromise with hate.

Satire draws on the need to highlight that which is wrong.

The satirist should re-examine satire that sounds like hate.

That includes me.

You need to know that I sometimes use language that others find profane. While I believe that words are words and there's nothing to fear, I respect both opposing viewpoints and your right to not read this blog.

Sometimes I do write about serious things. When I do, I'm right, and you either agree with me or you're wrong. Sucks to be you, huh? Of course, if you knew me, you'd already understand this, and it would suck considerably less to be you.

You may find me incomprehensible. As a service to you, I have created the Minions glossary (updated in November 2017), to help you decipher. It's all about you, bitchez.

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