Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Speaking For Those Who Cannot Speak

Let me be absolutely clear about this: I do not much care for the New England Patriots. There are 6-8 NFL teams I dislike far more, but it is not a common thing for me to prefer that the Patriots win a given game.

I say this to establish my bonafides. Beloved friends Whispers and Jolene are stomp-down sluts for the Patriots, and anything they would say in public on this issue would be perceived as partisan whining. I cannot allow them to remain unspoken for, and so I say this:

Oh, shut the fuck up. Seriously? Underinflated balls? Fuck me in the ear, it was a cold-weather game in which the officials fondled the balls before every fucking play. Are you fucking shitting me? Do you really need Patriots Derangement Syndrome to be as pervasive and as batshit fucking crazy as Obama Derangement Syndrome? Because that's where you are, America. Well, you know, that and utterly fucking addled about a fucking jingo movie about a lying, homicidal, psychopath war hero. But I'm gonna assert that the football is more important.

That is all.


Jolene said...

I give this post 4/4 inflated footballs.

Jolene said...

Or maybe 12/12 would have been a better joke. Ugh, too late.

Jim H. said...

So glad this didn't turn into a Ravens resentment fest. But yeah, tempest in a teapot. Drumming up eyeballs for the SuperbOwl.

fish said...

I'm just going to leave this here as an early Easter gift: