Tumescent with Victory

Fuckin' A, I'm taking the credit for that punkass bitch smutmonger Tucker Carlson's primetime fall. Tucker's pretty little mouth couldn't save his no-doubt objective and balanced program from a demotion to the slot opposite Your Local News. But at least he doesn't have to compete with Your Fox Local News. How nice for fascists everywhere.

Thanks to all of you who most thoughtfully pointed out helpful Tuckerbits like the video of Tucker's inability to get a simple promo done in one take, the video of Tucker having marital relations with his rat terrier, and the video of Tucker in the locker room showers in junior high.

Next up: that hypocritical fascist misogynist git Rick Santorum. His support for the National Weather Service Suppression Act of 2005 is chronicled by Slate, which I continue to read even though it kept pimping Tucker Carlson, a property of its former owner (it's now owned by WaPo). It seems that Senator Sanctimonious is, fresh on the heels of his very public support for judicial activism in the matter of the long-since-settled Griswold v. Connecticut, pimping home-state free marketry. Wait a minute, whaddaya mean HTML doesn't have irony marks?

Let's leave aside for the moment that this despicable, criminal, theocratic liar chose to do this CNN thing while my back was turned, thereby temporarily avoiding my wrath for his hypocritical and wrongheaded dissent from the Griswold decision, which in essence held that the state of Connecticut and, by extension, all other states, cannot force you to be an indiscriminate spermdumper. Yeah, okay, I promised to leave it aside, my bad.

It appears that Senator Santorum is in favor of free market forces, expecially when they will profit companies from his state. Well, he's in favor of them especially when the product being sold in the market by freely enterprising forces of capitalism is produced by the government and turned over to the freely enterprising forces of capitalism not only for free, but at the government's expense.

Rick Santorum, you are a desperately miserable fuckpig. Go to jail, you slimy, corrupt, lying, hypocritical piece of disrespectful shit. You're a disgrace to the U.S. Senate and the otherwise very nearly tolerable state of Pennsylvania. Fuck you and the insufferably stupid jackasses who keep voting for a venal, bottomfeeding, scam artist like you. It's time for you to move out of political primetime, you reactionary, hatemongering twit. Fuck you in your lying ass.