Sunday, October 21, 2007

Fat Man's Head In A Circle of Flowers

Memes circle their prey. Take this meme right here, which I first propagated 376 days ago. I gave up on it after a time, because in spite of Ralph Friedgen's fat but empty head, the football Terps ended up not all too bad last season. But we're back. I once again want Ralph Friedgen's fat but empty fucking head impaled on a stake in the middle of the M Circle as a warning to his kind. A very tall stake. And I want it right fucking now.

Back on Satan's birthday, a birthday he shares with his father-in-law...shit, I'm so pissed off at that fat stupid twat I'm talking about myself in the third person.

My father-in-law and I have the same birthday, and on that day (which this year really sucked pretty fucking fantabulously, because my stepson has the same birthday too, and being a reasonable and kind person I was absolutely deferential about who came first, that day) my wife and my mother-in-law gave us tickets to the Maryland homecoming game, against Virginia, a game that was just played, this very day. My in-laws are, you see, Motherfucking Hoos Fans, in addition to a few other faults I am forced by common decency to forgive. Last time we did this, two years ago, the Hoos were a total suckjob and Maryland won by something on the order of 30 points.

This evening, Maryland dominated the first quarter, didn't lose a lot of ground in the second quarter, sucked but basically held in the third quarter, and spent the fourth quarter putting itself in a position, thanks to the Fat Man's ill-placed cockiness, followed by unfathomably ill-placed gutlessness, to lose the game by a single point on three consecutive questionable calls in the last two minutes of the game. Should all three calls have gone the Hoos' way? I have no idea. They only show you the replay once, inside the stadium, if at all. This is probably a reasonable riot-control measure. I will leave it to Sasha to weigh in on this, if she happened to be watching this nationally televised disaster.

Should any football team go for it on fourth and one at their opponent's 35-yard line with 6 minutes left in the game? Let me rephrase the question. What kind of fat fucking pussy of an inept excuse for a fucking Division I football coach doesn't go for it on fourth and one at his opponent's 35-yard line with 6 minutes left in the game and a 5-point lead, at home, on Homecoming Night?

Ralph Fucking Friedgen, that's the fuck who. Dribbling fucking idiot.

And another thing: the University of Virginia Band must die. Die die die. I suggest public sacrifice on the intramural athletic fields at Route 1 and Campus Drive. Y'know, just below the M Circle. While we're impaling Ralph Friedgen's fat but empty fucking head on a stake in the middle of it. Soon. Cocksucking, chicken-bucket swilling, lard-brained sack of wasted protoplasm.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.


Update (7 hours later): Fuck.

1 comment:

Sasha said...

Sasha weighing in. They didn't have a decent pic. The conclusion being that the call didn't get overturned because they didn't have a decent replay. Which leads me to the conclusion, which I personally relayed to Landru a few hours ago in spite of the fact that I didn't get a label on this post OR the librarina one (who indeed have been up my ass for some years now, a condition which I rue daily)that there should be permanent sideline cameras funded by the team owning the field. Every damn play near a sideline should be on film. The camera shouldn't be movable by a human. And in this day and age it is ridiculous that we are counting on some amateur ESPN cameratool to catch the correct shot.

I'm pissed too.

I'm also pissed that all my teams seem to cave in the fourth quarter.

Ok, so it was probably a crappy call but nobody could tell but be that as it may why on earth would the Fridge's guys once again fold like a cheap suit? I'm so fucking fed up with these old fat coaches who should be put out to pasture with the holsteins that I could spit.