You Are My Minions: I Really Thought

Monday, May 12, 2008

I Really Thought

That I had a post in me about this. And this. And this. And this. Or maybe even on something completely different.

But I don't.

So let's just say this: Vaccines don't cause autism. There is no autism epidemic. The drought is killing me. And United is really not a very good futbol team right now.

Because I am so tired and soulsucked (Ilse had a very good Mother's Day, and while making Special Days for Ilse is what I'm all about, I'm quite extraordinarily drained), and because when I blog of late, it seems a tad single-tracked, I have concluded that I must do something spectacular to repay y'all for the kindness of peeking back to see if I've gotten around to posting.

So, coming when I have the energy: Fake Biographies of Loyal Minionses. Yeah, hold your breath. And no begging.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...: I can't wait! (This is not begging, just letting you know how I quiver in anticipation. Mostly. Except for the fear part.); 10:02 PM
Purplestate said...: Me? I have low expectations. Key to happiness, I aver.

zgcomk!; 11:14 PM
Anonymous said...: You fake things?; 4:41 PM
Colin's Daddy said...: can we have real biographies of fake minionses instead?; 10:03 AM
kl said...: When Harry Met Satan; 8:06 PM

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About Minions

You need to know that this is a self-indulgent vanity blog. I don't care how you got here (and you do get here by some very strange pathways); do not come here looking for deep unassailable meaning. If you knew me, you'd know better.

In case I need to spell this out for you, much of the content in this blog is either inside baseball (private public jokes between me and friends) or satirical. Much of my expression, even when talking about real-world stuff, is satirical. I have strong opinions. Here are a few:

Government exists to promote well-being.

Yes, that's a broad sweep.

Compromise is functionally necessary.

Hate is unacceptable in real life (sports excepted; if you don't like that distinction, you're not entirely wrong, and fair play to you). I elaborate on this because it's an easy word to use, and you may see me use it. I audit on this word, and I'm confident about the contexts in which I've used it here.

There is no need to compromise with hate.

Satire draws on the need to highlight that which is wrong.

The satirist should re-examine satire that sounds like hate.

That includes me.

You need to know that I sometimes use language that others find profane. While I believe that words are words and there's nothing to fear, I respect both opposing viewpoints and your right to not read this blog.

Sometimes I do write about serious things. When I do, I'm right, and you either agree with me or you're wrong. Sucks to be you, huh? Of course, if you knew me, you'd already understand this, and it would suck considerably less to be you.

You may find me incomprehensible. As a service to you, I have created the Minions glossary (updated in November 2017), to help you decipher. It's all about you, bitchez.

Wanna be my friend?
You know where to find me.
This blog's email address is minionsblog (at) gmail (dot) com. I check that email very infrequently. DM on Twitter (@landruajm) will get me faster. Lots faster. The old address was hacked and no longer belongs to Landru, because Google isn't very smart (and neither is Landru).
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