Monday, June 02, 2008

Exploiting Your Fear, Mofo

I've tried very hard. Very, very hard. It's not easy to hit people you love with big pieces of lumber. But there's only one way I'm going to get through here. Let's rock:

Once upon a time there was a very scary preznitential candidate.
Life was, in many ways, perfectly happy and cool, but as so often happens, a wolf lurked in the fold.

Bad things happened. Fear was caused.

People got kinda wack, did some stuff they wouldn't usually do. Some really weak shit, actually.

In short, they panicked. They were total pussies, frankly.

They forgot about the real enemy because they were so focused on their own fear of one shrill, dumbass preznitential candidate. They even went so far as to dream she had them by the short and curlies. And, after a fashion and solely because of their pussyassed fears (ostensibly of the shrill dumbass, but really of fear itself), she almost did.

Then they ignored her and their pussyass fears and everything was fucking A cool like Fonzie, mofos.

Let's tell the story a slightly different way. There's a spooky myth that if you say a dead person's name in the bathroom mirror three times,

he'll appear behind you:

Stop saying her name and she'll go away. Just fucking be cool like Fonzie, would you, mofo?

9 comments:

bdr said...

You are the one comparing Hillary to the immortal and galaxy-traveling (non-Donovan) Jack the Ripper...

And I've always said the only way to get more than two of your minions to willingly link through to me was to call me a pussy. Thanks for proving it!

No, really.

Dweeze said...

So how does the mysteriously aged Wallace Shawn play into this?

purplestate said...

Not me, dude. I know better than to take a free hit of that bdr shit. The first one is free, sure, but then you gots to keep coming back. Nope nope. I'm staying right here where I know what the deal is, and where the rubber meets the road.

uajumrfo!

bdr said...

Limited time FREE offer!

Picture of Landru standing next to Rafa Benitez!

Come see! No charge!

purplestate said...

Who?

Swami said...

I love the classic Star Trek photos, Landru, but when I visualize the "shrill, dumbass preznitential candidate" these days I get my images from a different show. Think the Scarran Queen from Farscape. (Remember the race with the big heads and big bad attitudes? She's like them just now. Even though I kinda like her otherwise.)

Landru said...

Purple: Landru. He's the one with the snout.

Swami: It's all allegorical and stuff. But nice to see you.

whispers said...

Hillary Clinton is Biggie Smalls?

Biggie Smalls?

Biggie Smalls!

(uh oh, he's pissed now...he was on his way to Vegas)

Ol' Dirty Bama said...

Somebody forgot to add that the person you used in your rant was the voice of "Piglet" in Winnie the Pooh. A Pooh choice, on your part.

ODB