Saturday, April 24, 2010

Things That Trouble Me

Comedy Central's censoring of the latest episode of South Park certainly fits, and I don't have an easy point of view here. The sort of terrorism that led to the censorship is personal. That's a little different from my usual, cold, numbers-based approach to random terror. On the other hand, my view of religion is well-defined; keep yours out of my face, whether it's Jesus-based or Allah-based or Gummi-Bears-based. Matt Stone and Trey Parker have a pretty absolute free speech right here; the terrorists threatening them--or the terrorist wannabe douchebags threatening them in the name of terrorism--are pretty full of shit. On the other hand, Comedy Central ain't the gummint. Stone and Parker have a right to not be afraid. Comedy Central has a business. The Supreme Court of My Head is declining cert and wants to take a long nap.

I do not understand the current vogue for the phrase "epistemic closure," and while I probably have the wherewithal to search out the necessary reading, I certainly don't have the energy, because I know it will just sap whatever energy I have left. It appears to be some massive conflagration involving douchebags, some quite probably from my side. If anyone feels like explaining this in a paragraph or less, I'll be grateful. If not...well, you're not my monkeys. At least those of you aren't Ilse aren't my monkeys.

The Securities and Exchange Commission had 3,962 employees in 2008, according to its budget justification. 33 of them got busted for looking at porn on government computers, some while on work time. That's 0.8 percent. I defy you to find an organization where 0.8 percent of employees aren't looking at, or trying to look at, porn on their work computers. The issue has precisely nothing--possibly even less--to do with financial regulation or the pending legislation thereon. So shut up, Darrell Issa, you lying motherfucker. Of course people should be disciplined for looking at porn on government computers. Pretending that the impact of their behavior on the financial crisis had an impact greater than zero is fucking retarded. Which, come to think of it, is a pretty good descriptor for Darrell Issa. Shut up, you lying motherfuckers.

Finally: the hockey. Capitals Insider gives us a brief video of one fan--ONE--staying positive. I've been lucky enough to spend most of my time in the Phone Booth down in the lower bowl this season, where one is a little better insulated from fucktardery. Last night, a kind friend gave me a free ticket (and a lovely date with Purple, with whom I had spent very little time of late) in the upper deck. Section 424 is considerably more proletarian than the lower bowl, and it showed in my neighbors' overall level of cognitive development (so did the amount of beer they had consumed). The appalling lack of knowledge about the rules of the game (no, fucktard, when a guy crosses the line ahead of the puck, it is, in fact, offsides, and a tripping call is not, in fact, appropriate every single time a warrior for the home team falls down on bad ice), its players (Mike Green is a motherfucking Norris Trophy finalist whether or not I think he should win it, you fucking dipshits, and even those have bad games), and reality in general (there are, in fact, more persons of Canadian extraction playing for the Capitals than for Les Mamafuckers du Froggerville, so stop fucking chanting "USA! USA! USA!", you fucking inbred cracker pieces of dysenteric shit), was pretty jawdropping.

The Caps lost to cut their series lead to 3-2, mostly because Les Habs wanted it more, a perfectly understandable, if loathsome, state of affairs. It's no big deal, however much we'd like it to be (I am contemplating the possibility that a depressive mindset that I've always attributed to Terps fandom may in fact be more broadly regional that I've thought, and I may or may not get back to you about that), though I will not be happy if we end up in a Game 7 (uhm, not least because it would coincide with a DCU home game, which I would most assuredly miss). And I really don't like it when objective evidence tends to confirm Steinz' recent assertion (affirmed by Himself, though I now can't find the post, which makes me think I maybe hallucinated that bait--what say you about that, dogma-N?) that Caps fans are teatards.


BDR said...

Landru said...

Thanks--I found that, but it's not the line I was thinking of as "affirmation." It may have been in an email or a conversation, in which case I apologize for revealing our innermost secrets and confidences to our unwashed observers.

ilse said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ilse said...

Okay, yes, it made my head hurt.

But here's a link to the blog post explaining it by the guy who actually started the meme:

It's helpful.

Sasha said...

Heh, ugly to rub elbows with the dysenteric fucktards, ain't it? Once every season or so is quite enough methinks. Think of how horrid it would have been with some Flyers fans in the mix.

And yeah, 7 would piss me off to. Besides they need a little rest.

whispers said...

Epistemic closure is a fancy way of pointing out a group's collective refusal to even consider ideas whose origin is outside of their list of approved sources.

Religions thrive on epistemic closure.

Swami said...

Les Mamafuckers du Froggerville?