Surely You Jest

Goff is now confirming his earlier report that Benny Olsen will be named head coach of DC United tomorrow.

This is deeply disturbing. Goff reports that money appears to be an issue; how in the world will the club come up with money for players, if it's that torqued by having to pay off a guy it should never have hired in the first place? If there's no significant influx of new players (and allowing your two best left wingbacks to leave, while protecting the likes of Kurt Fucking Morsink and acquiring a fucking ginger who's yet another in a string of non-10 10s, is not a promising sign of hope and change here), then Benny's just fucked, just totally lining up to take the bullet we've expected all along. Love him to pieces. Greatest organization man evar. But man, is he fucked.

Goff, who requires access to the club and can't say certain things obvious to the entire universe, tactfully neglects to note that any established coach would be hair-on-the-inside-of-the-shirt nuts to work for Kevin Payne, one of the world's most devious control freaks, a man who has shown us time and again that he's just a fucking liar who will happily piss on your leg and tell you it's raining to avoid approaching the fundamental truth that he's only managing the money, that all things are secondary, including the occasional bit of good fortune incident to staunching the tanker trucks full of money that this club must bleed.

I can't object to that last part; I pointed out to a friend (who, inexplicably, has yet to squawk about this, but who has had his nose pretty thoroughly tangled in his navel of late) that Will Chang is not obligated to shit money to keep us entertained. And I honestly don't expect a business not to put on a marketing and PR effort. It's just that Payne's work is so craven, so shameless, so fucking turdly, that it's impossible to stomach. We often demand his firing; we neglect to notice that he may well be doing a very good job at the job he's supposed to do. Does that make Chang a bad man? BFF says yes; I say not yet. I think we see if Chang gets a stadium here (yes, yes, fuck-me jig & c), even an improved deal at the same old ballpark, and if the systematic horseshit continues, then he's a bad man.

Sing with me: Backpass, Backpass, United, esta noche, tenemos the same stinking pile of horseshit we've endured for three years now-ow!

Personal note: out in that rural place again, home only on weekends until the week before the baby Jeebus' birthday. Maybe I'll be bored enough to post a lot, maybe not so much.