Monday, May 21, 2007

The Joy of Masturbation

Here are some things I've learned from reading blogs lately.

--Ann Althouse, who is widely known as a blithering idiot of the "9/11 changed my mind about Chappaquiddick"* variety, and as one of the finest legal minds this side of a pile of dog feces, thinks that education would be best served if we didn't make kids read fiction. While this is so blindingly ignorant that Althouse should be stoned to death before she opines again, Tristero demolishes her weak-assed opinion (it would be far to complimentary to call it an argument) masterfully at Hullabaloo. This woman is a menace to intelligent thought; intelligence runs away and hides when it sees that it's possible for a human to be so devoid of itself. She epitomizes why I'm a Hamiltonian Democrat.**

Interestingly enough, when one spellchecks "Althouse," the program suggests "outhouse." I wish she were bright enough for that joke to be beneath this discussion. It isn't.

--Various left-sphere bloggers are up in arms about musicians selling the use of their music for advertising purposes. Uhm, guys? Get lives. Seriously. You can't possibly be advocating that any sort of limits be placed on this, and you can't possibly be seriously prattling on about how people are somehow wrong to make a living from art. Just. Get. Lives. Kudos to others in the left-sphere who managed to recognize this argument for the hippie shite that it is. I've written before about my unbridled joy at seeing a cruise line use Iggy Pop's ode to his own heroin addiction as its catchy jingle. It continues to please me, even if Iggy's mainlining the proceeds. Tristero (it's lining up as a Hullabaloo sort of morning) differs. Just. Get. Lives.

--Rapist South Dakota legislators are serious fucktard conservatives. Uhm...duh?

--Tim Russert is still an assclown.

Apologies to Digby for making her blog my primary duncemine this morning (like she gives a fuck), but she's got it going on, it seems.

Here's the thing. Would I be better off reading this shit, or using my Internet connection more productively, like to stare at porn and wank off until my privates are red, swollen, and bleeding? Either way, the stupid hurts.

*I think this phrase may be trademarked by LGM.

** I believe in a republican government that isn't elected by people too fucking stupid to be entrusted with enfranchisement. Who decides what constitutes "too fucking stupid?" I do. Duh.


Dweeze said...

Tristero actually wrote two pieces worth reading? Wow. I generally regard going to Hullaballo and finding a Tristero piece the same way I regard turning on the X-Files on Sci-Fi and finding a Doggett-Reyes episode. It could be okay, but man, I really wanted Mulder and Scully. And by "really wanted Mulder and Scully", I of course mean "really wanted Gillian Anderson". But enough about me.

purplestate said...

What, you don't have a tag for left-wing fucktards?

The word is: mylhnr

ilse said...

stare at porn and wank off until my privates are red, swollen, and bleeding

You went to the Tweety's pharmacy today?

Jolene said...

Wait, I thought Digby was a dude. Not that it matters either way, but my world is all discombobulated now.

Landru said...

What, you don't have a tag for left-wing fucktards?

Of course I do. The tag is Purple.

Wait, I thought Digby was a dude.

Digby may well be a dude, but is, as far as I know, a dude with two X chromosomes.

Dweezil: Yes.

Ilse: Response expunged for safety reasons.