Yeah, yeah. I don't blog, I don't phone, I don't email. The Earth's rotation appears to be unaffected. You still, in all likelihood, ate dinner last night. It's even possible that, since you last gazed upon these works and despaired, you got laid. Woot.
-bDr is mining old Star Trek pics and can't stop. An intervention is scheduled.
-The New England Patriots are cheater cheater fofeaters. NBC spent four fucking hours last night justifying Coach Hobo's decision to spectacularly and remorselessly cheat by showing carefully constructed footage of legal football espionage. Let me do the math for you, Whispers and Jolene: everything your little "football team" has ever "done" constituted the "fruits" of cheating. The two of you have personally made Jesus cry, a thing which both of you, for different reasons, do with stunning regularity (and come to think on it, it's past time I introduced you two crazy kids--Whispers, that's Jolene, she's a scorching hot Boston lawyer chick transplanted to a convertible in Southern Cali; Jolene, that's Whispers, a sexy math geek who speaks three languages and lives on two continents. Jolene's only flaw is that she's just too fucking brilliant. Whispers' only flaw is that he once failed to bet on the Patriots to win the Super Bowl at 150-1 even though he knew perfectly well that they were cheating. You both commit unnatural acts with Boston sports teams. Have at it.).
-In other sports news, the US Womens National Futbol Team is in China. They need your support, even though their overall hotness level dropped staggeringly when Mia Hamm allowed herself to be penetrated by Nomah Gahciapahhah. Get up on Tuesday in time to provide it as they play Nigeria in their last group stage game, having stomped a bunch of hot Swedish girls, some perfectly ordinary Swedish girls, and some downright mannish Swedish girls into the Chinese earth, and having shamed themselves by allowing dirty Red Commie Koreans to tie them. This is important. bDr agrees, although he's just in it because he wants to splash Abby Wambaugh's bones. To each his own.
-Have I mentioned that the Patriots cheated?
-My Terps suck. Look it up yourself. Factually incorrect Terp-bashing here, which is a shame, because the facts speak for themselves.
-The Patriots are cheaters.
-Shh. DC United has been playing well.
-Bill Belichick is an unindicted felon.
-Politics: Just shut up. You're making me very, very tired. Every word written about politics right now saps my will to live. Seriously. Every time someone writes about Petraeus or the Justice Department or the Small Business Administration or right-wing fucktards, God kills a kitten, and every time God kills a kitten, a little part of me dies inside.
-All Boston sports teams are blights upon decency and upon humanity itself. And their best defense is that they're not the Yankees. Fie on you, I say! Ka-plah!
-How am I? Tired. Really, really fucking tired. And put upon. And tired. Really, really fucking tired.
This has been another edition of Death by Free Association.
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