Friday, July 29, 2011

Germans and Spaniards

Meh. Once upon a time, I really wanted to fuck this one girl. I mean that was the thing I wanted more than life itself. And she sorta spurned me, and life went on. Five years later (oddly, the amount of time that US Soccer was married to Bob Bradley) she turned up again, by then unmarried, and oh boy did I fuck her, and I lost four years of my life (oddly,  the amount of time between now and one year after the next World Cup, one month after the next Gold Cup) to a woman ultimately known to my circle as the Sinister Bitch of Doom, to my family as, "What the fuck were you thinking, you fucking pervert?" and to me as "Thank Ba'al I had the uncommon good sense to not marry her."

While the smart money (among those selfsame friends, and others who never knew her) thinks right now that I'll admit that this story has nothing to with Juergen Klinsmann...they lose. I'm really, really struck by the parallel, and I hope that in four years, I don't have occasion to remember this post.

Truly? I offer no better alternative and have nothing in particular against Klinsmann, although I think we went the wrong direction if we don't want to be as bored as Skeltor made us, and I think I might well have been a more entertaining choice1. But realistically...I got nothing. Just a really creepy feeling that I will, one day, link to this post for reasons unflattering.

Update: Goff, who is a corporate shill (close friends, please note appropriate contextual usage of the word "corporate") who sometimes lucks into correctness, quite rightly notes that "Bob Bradley always seemed like the interim choice." I was thinking about this earlier (though Goff certainly published it first); the word I was thinking was "caretaker," which makes Goff no less correct. The national team has seemed to me to be in caretaker mode since The Traitor Bruce Arena left, and I'm honestly not sure that Klinsmann feels like the man to end that.

Also: I hope that Sunil Gulati's newfound balls (bolstered, as previously noted, by me) don't lead him to do bad stuff to Pia Sundhage. I can see how a little tyrant like Gulati could decide that the two situations are exactly the same. Of course, he'd be wrong, but he's a fucking dipshit, so it's not like he can be counted on to suss that out.

1He shaved his beard for the picture that is presently on Wikipedia, but try here for a much better representation of why an Irish drunk in a New York football bar at 10 AM on a Community Shield Sunday walked up to me and asked for my autograph, and why BFF agrees.


BDR said...

Do female unicorns have holes in their foreheads?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Do female spiders wear moist spider panties?