My goodness, the Pittsburgh Penguins' cocks certainly are tasty. Slurp. Yum.
(It's 1-0 Caps at the first intermission, the Pens down on an abysmally dumb turnover by Yevgeni Malkin, whose cock is apparently the yummiest, since poor Cindy Crysby was tragically and brutally struck down in his prime by a Washington Capital, and yet Doc Emrick and Eddie Olczyk still can't shut the fuck up about how fucking primo mega-alpha dominant Malkin is. And don't fucking get me started on that egregious can't-die-hard-enough asshole Mike Milbury. Furthermore, Marc-Andre Fleury has bobbled the puck on easy handles four fucking times, two of which almost resulted in goals, one of which was denied only by the graceless turdery of Alexander Semin, and yet these NBC fucks can't stop picking on Tomas Vokoun--who is wretched and should leave my fucking city on the first stagecoach, but who is playing reasonably well thus far tonight. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck NBC Sports.)