Monday, June 03, 2013

No, Canada

I've made pretty clear that I dislike the Canadian national womens' soccer team, and despise their pig-ignorant fans. The team is, generally, both whiny losers, several of whom use their dual citizenship to play for their third-rate sports nation because they're not nearly good enough to play for the U.S. womens' team, as most Canadian women players show every time they step onto the field for a professional match in one of the womens' leagues we've enjoyed here in the last few years (I'll except Christine Sinclair, who I despise, and Diana Matheson, who I adore). There are no fans of the Canadian womens' national soccer team who I adore.

So the two teams played a friendly in Toronto yesterday, their first meeting since the afore-linked Olympic semifinal last year, in which the Canadians firmly established themselves as galaxy-class cheaters, whiners, bullies, and hallucinators. The U.S. women won, 3-0. This was uncontroversial. The game was at nils until the 70th minute, when the Canadians fell apart and let Alex Morgan rip them open. Then they did it again 2 minutes later, and that was about it. Except it wasn't.

Late in the game, the U.S. brought in Sydney Leroux, a very, very good young player, a lovely and vibrant young woman. Who happened to be born in Canada, to a Canadian parent and an American parent. She played in the Canadian youth development system, and played for Canada at the national level in younger age brackets. Then, she figured out that she was good enough to play for us. So she did. This isn't a crime. We're better than Canada is.

I mean at soccer. Yes, of course that's what I mean.

Since then, Sydney Leroux has been subject to taunts and racial slurs from Canadian fans. Remember them? The polite ones? Yes, of course you do. In person and in social media, Sydney Leroux has taken a giant ration of shit, much of it unspeakably vile, from Canadian fans.Yesterday was no exception; Leroux was booed every time she touched the ball.

So in stoppage time, Sydney Leroux scored a goal to make it 3-0 USA. And then she kissed the badge on her USA shirt, and shushed the crowd.

For which she received a yellow card (justifiably, under the Laws of the Game, to which Canadians do not appear to refer very often). End of story, right?

Nah. Canadians are whinging. Again.

So let's get this straight. The Canadians start a fight, by thugging it up in the Olympic semifinal. It turns against them in the end. They whine. Their fans whine more.

The Canadians come into the teams' next meeting vowing revenge, seeking validation, &c. They get their asses kicked. I mean really, it was embarrassing for them. If I were a Canadian fan right now, I'd just shut the fuck up a whole lot and go hide in a ditch. But no. They wanna call Sydney Leroux "classless" and a "traitor."

Jesus fucking Christ, grow the fuck up, Canada. You're losers.

Look, I can manage to forgive most of the Canadian players, save maybe Melissa Tancredi, who belongs in prison. They are, by definition, world-class athletes, extremely competitive. It's hard for them to lose to a rival. The Olympic semifinal must've been difficult for them, though some (Sinclair) reacted badly. They didn't get ripped off; their coach gave them a bum steer, and it almost worked. Except it didn't, because they didn't have the resiliency to finish the job. Of course they were pissed. They wanted that game so badly they cheated to try to win it. And they failed. When you're that competitive, and you can't win fairly, and you can't even win by fucking cheating and getting away with it? Yeah, that's some hard fucking cheese.

Hey, you know who did a really fabulous job of keeping Sydney Leroux's abundantly justifiable celebration in perspective? Their asshat coach, John Herdman:
I didn't notice it, I think I was kicking a water bottle at the time," Herdman said with a laugh. "I'd love Sydney to be playing for Canada, wouldn't you? Imagine her playing up front with [Christine] Sinclair and [Melissa] Tancredi, that would make a big difference, but she's not. So I think we've just got to let it go. Let it go, let her enjoy her time in the U.S. and just respect her as a player.
Pretty classy, huh? No, seriously, really seriously. That's a very well-adjusted and professional reaction to a media frenzy. Good to know that some Canadians aren't total fucking shitheads, huh?

Oh, wait. John Herdman's from New Zealand.

The fans, though. Wow. Canadian fans have the unmitigated balls to call Sydney Leroux classless?

Fuck you, Canada. And fuck your sisters.

Oh, wait. You're already doing that.

Fucking losers.


Sasha said...

I love this post. Just had to tell you.

fish said...

Phew, I'm glad I'm just a Bruins fan. I know you love us...