Itemization

Things experienced and overheard:

Terps Still Suck

In recent news, the football team needed to block a figgie in the closing seconds to beat an atrociously lame Felonhole squad last Saturday, the basketball team struggled to beat a division II team by one point last night, and the soccer team took 104 minutes to score a bloody goal on BC last night in the ACC soccer tournament. New and revised predictions: Football: 8-4; Basketball: I don't want to think about it; Soccer: death by Duke on Friday, early exit from NCAA tournament for defending champions.

Brit Hume Still Sucks

The local ubernews station talks to various media fuckbuckets once a week, and the smug liar Brit Hume is one of them. This morning, Brit pooh-poohed the notion of problems with electronic voting machines. "You'd have to be dumb as a box of hammers not to get a correct vote on one of these things," he crowed. "Millions of people use ATMs every day and there's no problem with those."

See, Brit, it's not like you have to worry about being challenged at the polls without cause, or about technologically challenged election judges, or about being assaulted by your senator's handlers when you try to ask a question. Or about any of a million other things that confront actual human beings. So shut the fuck up, you robo-lying tool of Ruppert Murdoch and the Bush Administration.

"Your Dog's Bad Breath May Be Covering Up Her Real Problem"

Also heard on my local ubernews station.

Your dog's real problem is that she's a fucking dog.

Republicans in Trouble

Yet more newsy goodness from the Media Overlords of Obviousness.

The R's will lose the House. It seems to me to be close to a lock. The Senate's more dicey; anything from 52-48 R to 52-48 D won't surprise me.

But the R's are getting increasingly desperate. It does not seem implausible that there will be some Election Day thievery; what I find interesting is that I think it's a nontrivial possibility that the R's are desperate enough to do it in a way that they get caught. That'll be fun.

And You?

You I will crush like a clam on a sea otter's belly. To be continued.