Tuesday, January 08, 2008

The Fall of the King

In a watershed event today for the entire Chesapeake Bay...uhm...Watershed, Joe Jesus El Senor Christo Super Mayamaya Jefe Gibbs of the Crazy 21s announced that he actually has been dead for the last 3 years and is now going to crawl back into his coffin. For this we thank Jeebus. The real one, I mean. Whether or not he can hear us.

Crazy 21s owner Cliched Irish Ballad commented that he would interview a brown person, as required by NFL policy, then hire either failed mad scientist Gregg Easterb Williams ("C'mon, man, they were the freakin' Bills!") or Todd Collins' topdom Al Saunders, unless he decided to piss off Landru's wife Ilse by hiring Brian Billick, or just go for the gusto and piss off Landru by hiring Belligerent Fucktard Bill Cowher. For their part, all 88 of the Crazy 21s said they dug Williams' hip vibe and would shit on Sean Taylor's grave if C.I.B. hired the douchebag Saunders, who was personally responsible for the 21s' acquisition of Todd "Sorry, I've Only Got 19 Competent Quarters In Me" Collins.

In a thoroughly precedented development, all Washington area media outlets refused to cover anything else so they could jerk off over El Senor's corpse. The New Hampshire primary was cancelled on orders of The Liberal Media's Washington headquarters.


Sasha said...

Thank you.

How long do you think the wake will last?

whispers said...

Pete Carroll!

What, don't you want Pete Carroll???


I'm sure he'd do a better job in Washington than he did at New England.

Or with the Jets.