You Are My Minions: Dear Someone

Friday, July 09, 2010

Dear Someone

Whoever you are, please make a decision about the Air Force's fucking refuelling tanker so that I stop hearing the ad spot catfight (targeted at you) between Boeing and EADS (Foreigners! Commies! Eurofags! Seriously, why is this even a fight?) on My Local Shoving News Up My Bum radio station.

Thank you.

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About Minions

You need to know that this is a self-indulgent vanity blog. I don't care how you got here (and you do get here by some very strange pathways); do not come here looking for deep unassailable meaning. If you knew me, you'd know better.

In case I need to spell this out for you, much of the content in this blog is either inside baseball (private public jokes between me and friends) or satirical. Much of my expression, even when talking about real-world stuff, is satirical. I have strong opinions. Here are a few:

Government exists to promote well-being.

Yes, that's a broad sweep.

Compromise is functionally necessary.

Hate is unacceptable in real life (sports excepted; if you don't like that distinction, you're not entirely wrong, and fair play to you). I elaborate on this because it's an easy word to use, and you may see me use it. I audit on this word, and I'm confident about the contexts in which I've used it here.

There is no need to compromise with hate.

Satire draws on the need to highlight that which is wrong.

The satirist should re-examine satire that sounds like hate.

That includes me.

You need to know that I sometimes use language that others find profane. While I believe that words are words and there's nothing to fear, I respect both opposing viewpoints and your right to not read this blog.

Sometimes I do write about serious things. When I do, I'm right, and you either agree with me or you're wrong. Sucks to be you, huh? Of course, if you knew me, you'd already understand this, and it would suck considerably less to be you.

You may find me incomprehensible. As a service to you, I have created the Minions glossary, to help you decipher. It's all about you, bitchez.