Monday, November 28, 2011

Jolly Men

So I was going to say that my penchant for calling for the termination with extreme prejudice of chunky sports coaches didn't apply to Bruce Boudreau, but in doing my self-absorbed research for this post, I found that this would be a lie (first paragraph, "this guy" link). Because, you see, I have no idea what I've said and not said on this blog over the last six freakin' years.

I had a conversation with Sasha some while back about why I wanted Dale Hunter to coach the Caps. I had another conversation with her (and Whispers, I think) on Saturday about why I wanted John Tortorella to coach the Caps ("Because you like the way his cock tastes," chimed in Ilse, which is only notable because it's more or less true), completely forgetting the obviously very realistic Hunter option, which is much better. I was momentarily stunned by the gut-punch of Boudreau's firing this morning--the conversation over the weekend focused on why the Caps probably wouldn't fire Boudreau. But that stunned-parrot reflex passed very quickly. Dale Hunter? WOOOOOT!!!!

I was talking earlier to BFF about the visceral impact of this; he won't get it, because he doesn't get hockey, which is okay. This move asks the whole team--which is slumping, badly, and was acting like it didn't want to play for Boudreau any more--if they've got the balls to be as good as they are. While I suspect that the answer is "No," this move is the one that will out the players once and for all. I don't have a lot of deep analysis on this; let's do a simple but effective demonstration here.

Don't Steal The Puck From Dale Hunter, Then Score:

Don't Be A Flyer. Just Don't.:

Don't Be A Flyer, Redux:

The Undisputed Greatest Goal In Caps History (Also: Don't Be The Flyers):

Read the comments on the attack videos for some extra insight into...well, everything.

I have no more words. Go Caps. Fuck the...well, here you go:

Bonus: Landru's Irrelevant Descending Pyramid of Levels of Hockey Hatin' Codified At Last:

1. Montreal Canadiens
2. Boston Bruins
2.5 Whoever We're Playing Tonight, But Then Again:
3. Philadelphia Flyers, New York Rangers, Pittsburgh Penguins, New York Islanders
4. New Jersey Devils; rest of the Southeast Division (Tampa, Carolina, Florida, and Atlanta Winnipeg)
5. Detroit
6. Ottawa and Toronto (Canadian) and Buffalo (Canadian but too chickenshit to admit it)
7. Anaheim (they're fucking Ducks), Dallas (come on), and the Rest Of Canada
8. The Rest of The West (pointless), Except
9. Colorado, beloved of friend Jon; and
10. The Black Hawks, who I hate because they're an Original Six team, but who escape serious hatin' because Ilse's from the Faux Side of Chicago


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Back in the day, I use to occasionally listen to the Caps on the radio (that being the only option).

Remember Yvon Labre, my fiends!

Sasha said...

Everybody else in the Patrick Division.

I'm still grinning. I've been spending every spare minute watching old clips.

And here's what happened today.

If this turns out 15% as good as I feel today then the Caps won't tank if they ever make the playoffs. Somebody at work was scoffing because they never won the cup. That didn't even piss me off.

Also. I see that he's been penalized and suspended repeatedly as an Ontario league coach with several fines for confronting and criticizing officials. About time somebody called them on all the acting on the ice.

Tomorrow the Blues. Thursday the Penguins.

My week is planned.

whispers said...

You hate the Bs more than the Penguins? Even with Crosby back?

Well, there's no accounting for taste.

Sasha said...

Yeah, Whispers, I don't get the Bruins thing either.

Sasha said...

Love this. Caps go from "country club" to "lunch pail" with the hiring of Dale Hunter.