Twas the month before Christmas, and all through the land
Good Christians were pulling their heads from the sand
The pagans were propagandizing with glee
To make Christmas entirely Jesus-free
But forces of righteousness sniffed out their plots
To poison the minds of teenagers and tots
With hopes for a secular holiday time
To blot out the memory of our Lord sublime
They oppressed the faithful and put them in camps
And upon their forearms they put little stamps
The mark of the devil, and symbols impure
It's hard to love Jesus, of that you be sure
They want to kill Christians, they're all filled with hate
How can they ask questions, why do they berate?
Y'know, I could go on with this for a while. The so-called War on Christmas is a load of hooey. It was originally rolled out about 50 years ago by the John Birch Society, and after it got the thorough golden shower it deserved back then, it went dormant for a while. Now, with the return to political power of a Christian majority that wants to claim it's being repressed, the myth is back.
To all Christians who want to enjoy a quiet Christmas without inflicting their religion upon me, I wish a happy and peaceful and blessed holiday season. And a merry Christmas, even.
To evangelizing, propagandizing Christians who claim to be repressed, I wish you an all-out holy war, coupled with my comfort that, if what you believe is true, you're such hypocritical liars that you're sure to burn forever in the Hell in which you so fervidly believe. But happy holidays anyway, you wretchedly dishonest cretins.