Thursday, June 01, 2006

Today's Pop Quiz

Which is more important? "Shake Well," or "Point Arrow on Button Towards Red Mark on Can"? Discuss.

In the Beatles' "Norwegian Wood," John Lennon presumably lights a girl's apartment on fire because she cock-teased him at great length. Given the prevailing moral climate of the 1960s, was this acceptable behavior?*

One train leaves Denver at 4 PM, travelling at 82 mph. Another train leaves Boston at 6 PM, travelling at 91 mph. Both trains are travelling on double track, without traffic restrictions, carrying similar loads of unrefined nuclear waste. Given these factors, which quarterback is more reprehensible, John Elway or Tom Brady?

A fifth-level rogue with a Ring of Authority surprises a seventh-level bard with a +4 short sword. Is bard the dumbest character class ever, or what?

Extra Credit: Name three sex acts that you wouldn't perform for your instructor.

Extra Extra Credit: Name two sex acts that you would.

*If you weren't alive during the prevailing moral climate of the 1960s, just STFU.


ilse said...

1. I think you're making too much of both Mark's sunburn and his lack of intestinal fortitude.

2. A tease is just a slut with poor follow-through.

3. 42.

4. Bard is at least relatively period. Monk is more out of place, IMO.

Extra Credit:


Extra Extra Credit: I would, but it's hard to talk with this ball gag.

Dweeze said...

1. Shake well. Shaking well is never overrated.

2. Yes. Considering the fact that we of the male persuasion could grope at will in bars until I was out of college in 81, setting fire to an apartment was still on the approved list in the 60s.

3. Elway has a horse face, but Brady is, and always will be, a child of the maize and blue. That makes him more reprehensible by default. Sorry Diamond.

4. It’s surprising given my inherent high level of geekery (not only do I know that today is new comic book day, I’ve already got an Excel spreadsheet of the comics I am likely to pick up today so I know how much I will spend), I’ve never gotten into the whole gaming thing. But if you think bard is a dumb character class, who am I to argue?

5. Only three?

6. Only two?

Jolene said...

Oh, you did not just dis Tom Brady. I know you wouldn't do that, both of you. I mean, he's my boyfriend and all, especially now that Theo went and got himself all engaged and shit.

Swami said...

Oh look, you went all multi-blogasmic down here and I only read the top one yesterday. I should have known to go down.

Uh - let's see...

"Point arrow towards the red mark" is way more important. Sorry, Dweeze. I don't care how long you've been shaking it - if you can't point your arrow at the right spot you might as well just go home.

This was acceptible for drug-crazed hippies and rock stars only. The rest of us were content with trashing & slashing cars - tires, windows and sugar down the gas tank.

I will say John Elway because I can't remember who Tom Brady is and I rather like men named Tom.


Joy of Sex, position 3.
Joy of Sex, position 5.
Kama Sutra #32 which I am probably not limber enough to perform anyway.

Sunny-side up.
Over easy.